I have tried to figure out a way to start this journey so many times. I have written and erased. I have written and posted. I have even written and given journals upon journals of my writing to others. I still feel like I am not doing something right with my words. I have always had something to say, just didnt think that I was worthy of being heard. I am a follower of Christ. Which means that I exist and so I am of value. I am also in therapy. I also cuss a lot, and I am also a recovering alcoholic who still struggles with drinking. I am overweight to my standards and smoke cigarettes. I take medication to stabilize my mood, and I still want to scream into a pillow when my 5-year-old son calls my name too many times in a row. I AM MOTHER!!!! I am standing in the gap with God, but I am also very angry with him. So this is my beginning for now. I know this side of the mountain is going to be rough to get over.